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Early Signs Your Child Might Be Getting Bullied At School

Even though it’s one of the greatest fears of many parents, most of them often don’t realise their child is being bullied until it’s too late. The child may not want to tattle tale from fear of being subjected to more harassment by the bully or the child might be ashamed to spill his or her woe or show their wound.[i][/i]

There are numerous other reasons your child may choose to suffer in silence if he or she is being bullied. Therefore, you know it is your job to stay vigilant for your child and watch out for any worrying signs of bullying when they are away at school with their schoolmates and teachers.

Typically, the bully is a class or school mate who is a brat and often older. But what about when the teacher is the bully? The internet went into a rage recently over a viral video of a preschool teacher in South Africa repeatedly and despitefully beating a sick child of about 2 or 3 years old. The child was whimpering, visibly terrified and helpless. Needless to say, the video tore viewers’ heart out, especially parents.

The majority of teachers at standard schools are well trained for the job and know how to keep your child at ease and in the best frame of mind to learn. Many of them will go the extra mile to do this and earn the love and trust of the child. But there are teachers who do not handle their responsibilities well and some will even bully the kids in their class.

Instead of using proper classroom management techniques and mildly correcting a child where necessary, they use their physical strength to harass the child or manipulate or ridicule them. So, the child not only gets hurt physically but also feels and endures psychological pain.

Parents should note, however, that this piece is not an encouragement to them to overprotect or obsess over the child. It is just for them to be aware. Sometimes, older kids like teenagers may just need a bit of the toughness to navigate life better as adults.

You don’t go to school with your child every day, and so you really don’t have an idea about what happens there. But if your child is being bullied at school or elsewhere, there’ll be subtle signs.

Here some early signs to look out for if you suspect someone or some people are bullying your little one at school.

Your child frequently feigns sickness to avoid going to school

If your child is normally happy to go to school but has suddenly started developing cold feet or fakes headaches, stomach aches or some other illness, especially in the morning when it’s time for school, then something is amiss. It could be he or she is being bullied by someone in their school.

Your child may be feigning sickness to avoid the bullying or it could as a result of the bullying – or both. It should get you more curious and worried if your kid never makes similar complains and is his or her normal lively self during the weekend.

For preschoolers and junior schoolers, watch out for repeated excuses to skip school and stay at home, such as headaches or joint aches.

Instead of getting frustrated by your child’s reluctance to go to school, sit down with him or her and ask why they don’t like school anymore. Be patient and attentive, as your child may be nervous at first.

He/she becomes sad, moody and withdrawn – unusually so

Has your child’s general mood shifted? Was he or she usually excited whenever going to and coming back from school, but is now lethargic and sad? Worse still, won’t the child say what the problem is?

Psychologically, the child may have started associating his or her school with fear and anxiety rather than their previous view of it as a place for fun and learning. They may start to become indifferent to school and school work and their academic performance may drop.

While this could be hormonal changes kicking in if your child is a teenager, it could also be a sign someone is repetitively hurting your child at school. You know your child best and so should be able to quickly spot a change in their demeanour.

Torn clothes, curious bruises and scratch marks

If your child cannot reasonably explain why a small area of their clothing is torn or why their books have been missing more than two or three times, then you should investigate. If also the child sometimes has strange bruises or scratch marks on a part of their body, the child may be a victim of playground bullying. Ask your child about these things.

If he or she is mute, evasive or cannot explain them, ask them open-ended questions to try to unearth the truth. Questions like: “What happened today during school break?” “How did you feel when that happened?”

The child suddenly has problem sleeping

According to studies, 36% of children who have sleeping problems are silently suffering from bullying. Such children may experience parasomnia or nightmares. In addition, children who are victims of bullying may be depressed, which causes them to either sleep too much or have difficulty sleeping.

Withdrawal from regular friends’ group

If you notice your kid begin to keep away from his or her regular cycle of friends, keep a note of that and try to find out why. Your child may be avoiding her old group of friends because they are now friends with the bullies. Take a close look at the group to see the new face or faces, and right there you may find your answer!

Your child skips meal at school but binges at home

Has your child been weirdly coming home from school with their lunch box untouched and yet hungry? And even more strangely, they binge at night? Something may not be right.

Generalized fear

If you observe your child is developing a general paranoia and distrust about almost everyone and everything around him or her, you should get bothered. That’s often a sign of a deeper problem, and bullying at school is often a culprit.

For example, you may notice a silent generalized fear in his or her eyes and demeanour when you’re walking with them to school, they want to take the school bus, or taking part in a class group activity.

Your child starts to bully other kids

This may surprise a lot of parents, but yes, if your child is being bullied at school, he may be subconsciously conditioned to think being aggressive with his younger or weaker siblings and peers can get him what he wants, and when he wants it.

This is sometimes a natural consequence of being bullied and you should be worried if your formerly easy-going son begins to get assertive and uncooperative with his friends, siblings and even you, his parent.

What to do as a parent…

If you have a strong suspicion or a “good” evidence someone may be bullying your kid at school, your first instincts could be to storm the school, all guns blazing, and confront the bully.

But sometimes, it’s best to use a more delicate approach.

First, make sure you’re keeping your emotions in check and avoid impulsive reactions. Speak to the teacher or school administrator, since these people spend more time with your child during the week. Well trained educators will also considerably understand your kid almost as much as you do, and can easily spot when the child is exhibiting changing behaviours.

On a final note, it is important that you build a solid relationship with your child, so if they are experiencing anything unusual or worried about someone or something at school, they can trust and feel comfortable telling you about it. Children will stay close to people they find helpful and supportive.

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