The Buhari Regimes: A Masterpiece On What A Government Should Not Be

By Dapo Douglas-Momodu.

“The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess out of it”….. Lawrence J Peters


The Nigeria of today, as inopportunely being lamented and dismally, systematically egressing the notches of sanity in nationhood, teleological essence, and every sanguine facets and practicalities, owes , largely, as its quagmire to the infamously overambitious, debauched and rakish astigmatic ruiners inexcusably tagged leaders along with their military saturnalia cohorts who not only launched a long reign of obscene larceny, entrenched pneumatic shatterings, but also established and dispersed the saplings of futuristic retardation against the nation in all aspects, the last concomitant maladies battles the polity egregiously till date, with relatively opaque or no quick fixes at hand.

Agonizingly, the same discreditable and contemptible ship wreckers of the post-independent Nigeria and the calamitous incipient military putsch-enamored dramatis personae in the recent annals of our contemporary State still genuflect, lives with impunity marked in remorseless prodigality, vociferous in their ostentatious pedigrees, buoyed by their humongous stash of filthy lucre they undoubtedly call all the shots in every visible spectrum of our economic, political and orthodox spheres without much disapprobation or impedance from the populace whose commonalities are eing deplored to subjugate them in the first place. The people have since acclimatized into adulating the matriachs of their servitude or play along. See no evil, hear no evil, and no evil will come to you is the new norm.

Simultaneously and suspiciously, one exigently eccentric character synonymous with all things else but sagacity in management, intellectual propriety, fairness, exactitudes and or visions where leadership and qualitatives thoughtfulness are condign is the present regime’s honcho, president Muhammadu Buhari. The irrepressible omen of rudderlessness and subservient misdirections. President Buhari isn’t the fortuitous or auspicious personage in his three harrowingly plague-like terms of office, if there won’t be any abracadabra to spurn him for a fourth, in a suicidal third term debacle being propounded by his enemies who are beguiling him with inexistent intentness and earnestness. A hymn typical of the cultural psuchopathis sycophants and hangers-on at the noxious corridors of Aso Rock .
The tale was told, though restricted to a few juggernauts in the erstwhile IBB junta’s Armed Forces Ruling Council AFRC, durin the heydays of and the terroristic hegemony of the abominable Lawrence Anini, the armed thieving desperado and his miserale companions. Yhe then weary Inspector General of Police, Mr Etim Inyang, was obviously at his wits’ end and crossroads on how to suppress the Anini’s insurrections. But the self-styled evil genius and maradonaic military president Babangida having incontestably had enough of the hues and cries, walked into the AFRC’s meeting venue like an Al Capone straight to the IG’s seat, looked him in the eyes, balls to balls, breath to breath and man to man, the prototypal agony would have been too overwhelming for the IG, of blessed memory as he ingested the subtly precarious but fecund question of: “Etim, where is Anini?” by the president.

That was all the late Etim Inyang had to hear to figure out the realistic terms of the threats to his job, position and legacy. He had two options: to capitulate to the shenanigans of the notorious misfits or save his not only his neck but his integrity as the topmost cop in the country then. He resorted smartly to the latter. In two weeks, Lawrence Anini’s reign of villainy was brought to a bloody end. He was thereafter publicly executed at the bar beach by the “firing squad”. Pronto! The fear of the leader who demands responsibility, at least in the reviewed case, juggled a hitherto laid-back policeman to deliver. Delivery, as far as the public is concerned is what matters.

The Buhari personality has no such pedigree, track record or candor. How do one elucidate on a leader who’s consistent and comfortable with assured economic recessions each term he holds sway at the centre? Or which sovereign glorifies cannibals and bloodthirsty terrorists with unthinkable mindless ego massaging juicy offerings as GMB, as currently ongoing in Nigeria, a la Boko Haram compensation package of: free them, train them, pay them, resettle them, internationally educate them but despise and recklessly abandon, renounce and forsake the victims of such at the IDP and other unknown camps, when and if they are not terrorized further or bombed by the military air officers with no one taking the fall were such to be accidents.

In the Buhari’s annals of keadership priorities, ethos, guides and commemorations, ineptitude is glorious and distinctive: the more of that you can muster, the longer your tenure of office; the more gelastic and epileptic your “achievements” are in office, the more recommendations Maj. Gen. Buhari vests on you. The “kilishi” revelation comes to mind. The more impractical, loquacious, enfeebled, nonsensical, vague and feckless the economic policies are: the more the obeisance and eulogy the current maladministration demands from the Nigerian people. Foreign or diplomatic policies are practically nonexistent, redundant or at best out rightly opaque from a man who contested and fail in presidential election thrice in twelve years.

Unsurprisingly, the Buhari government is the first ever indefensible government in the history of Nigeria. All known aides, associates and his bootlickers pitiably, comically and laboriously fumbles, flounders and misfires with both sides of their mouths to propagandize, proselyte and inveigle the victimized constituents of the Buhari’s misrule of his nonexistent veracity, potentials and potency, as they at best, advance more pugnacious campaigns five years after GMB has been in office. One cannot help but wonder in trepidations how or why a grown-up finds it abhorrent to assemble a “worthy team” of seasoned technocrats, excellent professionals, competent personalities, renowned experts, experienced erudites, tested and articulate corporate eggheads and substantiated brands to compensate or make up for intellectual deficiencies/ No one needs a six WASCE credits to decipher this except Buhari of course.

The technological sophistications of the Buhari era only stops at fostering the survival of bovine livestocks desperately at the expense of the members of the human species and this only has to and must be done in a bloodletting manner outlandish and inconceivable in the twenty first century. That is the first of the two most conspiratorial, veiled and perhaps, esoteric mandate Buhari is on a mission to to consummate tooth or nail, with the second, resettling his restive, cannibalistic and terror catastrophic kiths and kin Fulanis all over Africa into every part of Nigeria by the means of pernicious land grabbing modules and ruthlessness to be shrouded in legality by his vassals in the rubber-stamp legislative domes in Abuja. The omens aren’t clear yet. They are as foggy as Buhari supposed them for the nation especially the Southerners.

When a man so grossly deficient in maintaining circumspect relationship with his erstwhile populist base still holds such strangulating sway, then the cookies’ crumbling can’t be worse than it gets. When a character so habituated with nepotism and kinsmenism is in the pilot seat as the captain, it’s only a matter of time before a newly recruited air hostess will be recommended for the post of co-pilot. The blame pranks won’t abate as we know it. Taking responsibilities is an instinct worthy of adoption to the crass clueless mystery running the Nigerian show in Abuja with pompous shame. It’s a pitiful and tactless entity we’re dealing with.

The writer having profusely earlier warned of the precariousness the Buhari’s presidency will exemplify and the jejune asservations in his campaign promises in 2015 and 2019 isn’t a cynic or critic of Maj. Gen. Buhari without a cause, but a notability with unapologetic blunt convictions of the perils that laid ahead if the emergence of the present government wasn’t interfered with at the ballots. The warnings were unheeded and the rest isn’t just history but still stares our helpless, recalcitrant and duped sorry folks in the face. Regrettably, two and a half years isn’t a 24 hours proceedings. God bless Nigeria and all who thinks well unto her.

Dapo Douglas-Momodu, is a political affairs analyst and the founder of the Dynamic Nationalists’ Group. oladapodouglas@

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